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  • SuperDoucheBaggery 12:26 am on August 21, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: birthday cake, crocs, , fat fucks, lazy, retards, shape up douche bag, shape ups, , , uggs   

    Shape Ups – shoes for fucking retards 

    The great thing about shape up shoes is that in addition to being an overweight fat ass, you look like a fucking moron with your fucktard shoes. By wearing shape ups you’re basically telling the world that:

    1) You are fat (we already knew)
    2) You are too lazy to do real exercise so you are really hoping that these monstrosities on your feet will cut some of your weight off.
    3) You have horrible taste in fashion
    4) You are a terrible human being
    5) You are the physical embodiment of a faux pas

    As if sketchers and the people who wore them weren’t ugly enough, these shoes come at a PREMIUM – They are over $100! If you’re looking to spend $100 to look like a retard, there are better ways to do it, such as….. …… …… ….. well, there’s nothing, these are actually the stupidest you could ever look for $100+.

    ORRRRRRRRRRR, you could get the UGG versions.

    UGGly

    There you go, you just topped yourself, I did not think it could be done… Now you can look like a fat fucking floptard….in the snow…

    Or in the hospital (or wherever people wear Crocs)

    Thanks Sketchers, you’re ruining the world. I would list the biggest travesties of 2010 as:

    1) Shape up shoes

    2) The BP oil Spill

    And BP is a distant second at that.

    Super Douche, signing out…get yourself some real fucking shoes…you fat fucks…

    Disclaimer: the author of this blog is a fat fuck (pictured below)

    My Birthday!

     

  • SuperDoucheBaggery 6:25 pm on August 18, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , Cremation, Burial, Forest Lawn, Death   

    Win a PRE-PAID CREMATION! Free! Details inside! 

    It’s always fun to get reminded of your own mortality. The thing that strikes me as weird is death in advertising. If you live in southern California you have probably seen the billboards for forest lawn mortuary (“dont have someone elses funeral”).

    real funny

    Thanks for making death funny. Maybe I’m conservative but I would rather not talk or think about it. You know how it is, I like to keep things dignified, hence this blog.

    So the other day I get this in the mail…

    I love the enthusiasm… Free Cremation! Score! Just what I’ve been waiting for!

    There are few things that I can really get pumped about, free cremations being one of them, thanks!

    Look at the note inside:

    Anne really is the envy of everyone else… Yes TELL ME MORE NEPTUNE! You made me frikkin day, shoot, my week even. Next year for my birthday, no gift cards, no pre paid massages, get me one of them pre paid cremations/burials/mausoleums(?).

    Awesome. Putting the f-u-n back in funeral, thanks neptune and forest lawn.

     

  • SuperDoucheBaggery 1:09 am on August 9, 2010 Permalink | Reply  

    Cankles = douche baggery 

     

  • SuperDoucheBaggery 4:40 pm on August 7, 2010 Permalink | Reply  

    People who name their kids “hope”, “faith”, “destiny”, “serenity”, “king”,…and other major douche baggery names 

    You see it all the time, you seem to see it more among white trash and others of that ilk. These are the same people who frame these similar messages (LOVE/FAMILY/LAUGH/LIVE/LOVE), as if its ART, and put it up on their mantles and walls of their living rooms. In other words, cheesy ass tactless motherfuckers who think they’re being profound. The only thing profound is how profoundly stupid these people are.

    You may disagree. But I would challenge you to think of anyone with any of these or similar names, and think about this person (or their parents) intelligence. It is not any different from naming your kid “courage”, “bravery”, “fortitude”, “persistence”,

    And you can see the conversation these people have in their heads…” ‘fortitude’ means strength…thats profound…everyone come HIGH AND LOW WILL KNOW MY CHILD IS FORTITUDE!!!” That is the actual script, verbatim, that every parent has had who has ever named their child one of these names (just substitute fortitude for hope/faith/anything else).

    Signing out,
    profundity jones

     

  • SuperDoucheBaggery 12:23 am on July 7, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , country music, tim mcgraw, for your jesus, patriotic, lay your life down for your jesus, give your last breath to your wife, nothin to die for   

    Douche bag of the week: Tim McGraw – “lay your life down for your Jesus” 

    Tim McGraw has a song out called “nothing to die for”. I was only exposed to it because they were playing it at the grocery store. Here are some of the choice lyrics…

    “You’d give your last breath to your wife

    Take a bullet for your kids (keeeds)

    Lay your life down for your country

    For your Jesus, for your friends”

    I’m not necessarily disagreeing with what he’s saying…but you have to hear the song (below) to really absorb the idiocy and the base of chimpanzee hicks this song appeals to.

    You can’t have a “Jesus”.

     

  • SuperDoucheBaggery 12:09 am on July 7, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: douche dog, pit bull, pit bull douche, steroid douche, supplement douche   

    People who own pit bulls and people who want to make their pit bulls extra buff BY GIVING THEM SUPPLEMENTS 

    WTF

     

  • SuperDoucheBaggery 4:08 am on June 19, 2010 Permalink | Reply  

    More Parking Douche Baggery 

    So I was going to my local coffee shop when I pull up and see this guy who appears to be quadruple parked ,

    and then this green car pulled out of the way to reveal this guy

    Lo and behold, double douche baggery on the parking. Nice.

     

  • SuperDoucheBaggery 2:04 am on June 19, 2010 Permalink | Reply  

    Nerd Douche 

    “Dont meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy & good with ketchup”. Oh really? Well my squire, you are  a big fucking nerd, now put down the frankincense and myrrh.

     

  • SuperDoucheBaggery 4:19 pm on May 14, 2010 Permalink | Reply  

    Another Raised Truck Douche 

     

  • SuperDoucheBaggery 3:35 am on May 9, 2010 Permalink | Reply  

    Tramp stamped van 

    Is it supposed to be tough? Is that a tribal band with a butterfly in the middle? I’m not sure what it’s supposed to be but it’s AWESOME that this sticker is on this van.

    If there were a female equivalent to this van,  I think it would be this girl here. She’s got a stamp, a butterfly, and a similar physique to the van.

    Charming!

     

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